Thursday, May 24, 2012
It is almost Memorial Day Weekend on this planet we call Earth in this country we call America. That means it is time to fire up the grill, get those hot chips* cooking, and prepare for the NBA playoffs to get super serial.
But before we can dish on the future, it's always important to remember how we have arrived at this point. As such, here is my entirely accurate and totally factual summary of every important detail regarding the playoffs so far.
Without question, the MVP of the NBA postseason is Michael Baiamonte, the Miami Heat PA announcer. Talk about remarkable comic timing! In case you did not know, Amar'e Stoudemire fouled out of New York's game five loss to the Heat. Almost immediately following Stoudemire's foray to the bench, Baiamonte bellowed, “Offensive foul on the Knicks! On Amar'e Stoudemire. That’s his sixth, he has been extinguished from the game!” Please get Baiamonte a medallion or a shiny sitcom for his efforts.
Sure, Metta World Peace may have been suspended for the majority of his team's first round series with the Denver Nuggets, but that did not stop MWP from watching. And watch he did: with a glass of red wine and some of his Twitter followers. World Peace tweeted for his followers to meet him at a sports bar to watch game five with him while consuming free pizza and beer. Wish I had known. World Peace continues to be one of the more complex and fascinating people on this continent we call North America.
Do not cite KG as a dirty player if you want a team you own to beat his team at basketball. That is the lesson the owner of the Atlanta Hawks learned after The Big Ticket delivered a sickly clinching game six. Garnett thanked Atlanta's owner for "giving me some extra gas tonight." Anyone else got anything they would like to say about Mr. Garnett?
Super Nintendo Chalmers to the rescue! This is what Miami Heat fans must be thinking after Super Nintendo put up a remarkable 26-6-5 stat-line in a convincing game three Heat loss. Coach K, you watching?
The Chicago Bulls did not make the playoffs** so there is nothing to discuss there.
I am still not impressed with the Spurs even though they have not lost since Jimmy Carter was president***.
OKC has looked alright though.
That pretty much covers it. Onward and upwards, then.
* - Hot chips are regular chips cooked on an outdoor grill. Serve hot. They are delicious.
** - The Bulls may or may not have made the playoffs.
*** - They Spurs may or may not have last lost on April 11, 2012.