"Being too good is apt to be uninteresting." - Harry S. Truman
There have been two great upsets in the past 100 years: incumbent Harry S. Truman defeating Thomas Dewey and the "We Believe" Golden State Warriors defeating the top-seeded Dallas Mavericks in the 2007 playoffs.
Truman's 36 percent approval rating at the time was much higher than the chances anyone was giving the Warriors. But both fighters reached for and fully committed to their progressive morals to pull out their inspirational wins. Truman risked alienating many of his more socially conservative supporters by advocating sweeping civics rights reform; coach Don Nelson bit his thumb at traditional positions and ran out whatever five guys his Scotch-soaked mind grapes deemed worthy. Both wins were historic in their underdog status. "Dirk Defeats Baron" and all that.
But following this truly reformative victory, the Warriors have thus far squandered their second term. Baron's gone, Mayor Stephen Jackson is back where he's needed, Ellis was exiled, Nelson fled to Hawaii. The restocking fee? Untested coach Mark Jackson, unfruitful David Lee, unshaven Andrew Bogut and un-ankled Steph Curry. Look, I'm skipping around a bit here, folding time to help the narrative. But really, nothing's been happening at the Oracle since 2007.
This year, though, there is optimism. The roster is good and practical. Steph and Bogut should be a forceful offensive inside-out combo and Bogut is probably the second best defensive center. (But they should both also get the words "Barring Injury" tattooed on their chests.) Second-year guard Klay Thompson is primed to have a modest breakout and score 18 points a game. Harrison Barnes probably has some dope business cards all printed up. Jarrett Jack will soak up all those juicy Steph Curry missed games with his whole grain back-up point guard baguette. And then there are also other NBA players on the team, but who has an endless amount of time to type all of their names? No one, that's who.
Harry Truman's daughter Margaret was a singer. After a particularly scathing review of one show, he penned a letter to the critic:
I've just read your lousy review of Margaret's concert. I've come to the conclusion that you are an "eight ulcer man on four ulcer pay."
It seems to me that you are a frustrated old man who wishes he could have been successful. When you write such poppy-cock as was in the back section of the paper you work for it shows conclusively that you're off the beam and at least four of your ulcers are at work.
Some day I hope to meet you. When that happens you'll need a new nose, a lot of beefsteak for black eyes, and perhaps a supporter below!
Pegler, a gutter snipe, is a gentleman alongside you. I hope you'll accept that statement as a worse insult than a reflection on your ancestry.
You know Mark Jackson would do the same for his guys.
Rushed Pull-Up Jumpers:
Pokemon who the team should adopt as its new mascot: Electabuzz
Headline we'll be most sick of reading: "Curry, Bogut Sidelined Again"
Headline we're most looking forward to: "Andris Biedrins Goes 10-10 From The Line"
If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you enter the pearly gates?: "You just went right ahead and claimed the state's nickname for your own use? Strong move."