Oh the season. Oh the season! Election or NBA, both are upon us. We're getting into the spirit by bringing you our season previews (with a little help from the presidents). One per day for the next 30 days—which will bring us to the Day of Reckoning. So please join us on the campaign trail as we shake hands, kiss babies and sink jumpers.
"Great lives never go out; they go on." - Benjamin Harrison
Zach Randolph and his Memphis Grizzles made a serious name for themselves when they crushed the San Antonio Spurs as the eighth seed in the 2011 playoffs. The NBA landscape was officially shocked—the old guard from Texas had been taken to task by a bunch of upstarts from Tennessee. Underdogs everywhere gained swag and the world once again seemed like a place where the mighty could fall and the unexpected was possible.
Benjamin Harrison raised his metaphorical middle finger to the bullies of big business when he signed the Sherman Anti-Trust Act. No longer could corporate fat cats monopolize the free market without opposition from the United States Government: a huge victory for the little guy that remains intact today. Harrison also fought for voting and education rights for African Americans, a discussion that dulled after his presidency until the 1930s.
The Grizzlies' roller-coaster fairytale ride sadly came to a painful halt when OKC downed the hopes of bandwagon fans everywhere in a hotly contested seven game series. But the future was bright for Marc Gasol and company. In 2012, they would take the next step. Or would they? The tragic injury of the reborn Z-Bo put a damper on the regular season. His half-hearted return was genuine, but he was clearly no longer the rebounding and scoring machine he was the year prior. Memphis fell at the hands of glitter and alley-oops in the first round of the playoffs.
America's economic climate quickly made things very awkward for Harrison and his attempted re-election. All that tariff malarkey apparently made imported goods pretty damn expensive; it seemed like all of Washington was jumping off the Harrison train. Combine that with Harrison's deathly sick wife—making him incapable of campaigning for himself—and the election was all but over.
Life moved on for Harrison after his short time as Commander-in-Chief, and he definitely engaged in some worthwhile ventures. Apart from remarrying a young lady 25 years his junior, he spewed law lectures at Stanford University and had a hand in the creation of the first commemorative postage stamp. Pretty neat.
For Memphis, anything could happen this season. The gang is pretty much the same and while their last two years have been emotionally wacky, there's no doubt that the 2013 outfit has the potential to do some pretty damn neat stuff themselves.
Pokemon who the team should adopt as its new
Headline we'll be most sick of reading: "Mike Conley Jr. Struggles to Check Opposing Guards"
Headline we're most looking forward to: "Z-Bo Voted to NBA All-Star Game as Starter"
If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when
you enter the pearly gates?: "Just for the record, God didn't choose Memphis."